Gossip

"Great people talk about ideas; ordinary people talk about things; small-minded people talk about other people."

-- unknown

 

I believe in being kind, treating people with respect and being honest in my intentions.  I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t get it right all the time, but I try to be the best person I can be.  Until I started dating my husband eleven years ago, gossiping and talking about people is how I thought people engaged in conversation with one another.  If you weren’t talking discussing someone, their life or a choice they made, what would you talk about? From what I can remember my conversations never started off as gossipy, but at some point they always ended up there. I could easily talk about the day, the weather, what I was going to eat for dinner; how I was feeling etc. and ten minutes later I was jumping on the southbound train to Gossip Lane. Seriously, that’s pretty much how it went.   It never occurred to me that what I was doing was gossiping since I never had malicious intentions. 

What finally stopped this cycle was being consistently called out by my husband.  How dare he, right? He didn’t do it all the time, but he did it enough that I started becoming conscience of my conversation. I don’t know why I felt the need to share anybody’s life story (interesting parts only) when I brought them up in conversation and why I felt the need to supplement my stories about people with my opinion. What also helped was Joyce Meyers told me the other day when I was riding down the highway that I don’t have the right to an opinion if I don’t have responsibility for the topic.  Ouch.

Not long after I got married I found out that a family member shared some very private information about me with his friend, my makeup artist, who in turn shared it with her friend, my hair stylist. The hairstylist happened to be a close friend of mine and told me what happened and I was devastated.  I was angry and hurt by the fact that a family member would discuss a painful event in my life and share it with anyone else . I never confronted my cousin on the matter, but I did use that as a lesson gossip and respecting people’s privacy.  I didn’t want people discussing the lowlights of my past, so why would I discuss anyone else’s.  It’s funny how being in the unfavorable position completely changed my perspective. 

Nobody likes a gossip and I’m glad that I’m not one anymore. I finally have something to talk about other than people.  I have ideas and passions that I’m happy to discuss.  I’m making progress.