Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Conqurering Fear

I have decided to train for and run the Marie Corps Marathon in October of this year.  I don't take marathon training lightly since it's an 18 week commitment.  Training will start at the end of June. In that good ole' is this Maryland and not Nicaragua summer heat.

 I've wavered with committing to a marathon simply because of the training schedule.  I'll need to run three times during the week and do a long run on the weekends for four months.  Running 26.2 miles doesn't intimidate me because I know that I can do it.  I've trained to run 3, 6, 10, and 13 miles, so mentally I know I can do it.  It's just the 18 week training commitment that makes me second guess my pursuit.  Let me let you in on a little secret; putting forth my best effort consistently long term is not one of my strengths.

On one a scale of 1-10 my long term commitment levels wavers at best a 6 or 7.  I set realistic goals that I know I can achieve, I start them and then I let a silent goal killer called compromise creep in. Over time I develop a strong case of the I don't wannas. As in "I don't feel like it" and "what's the purpose, "  etc. I start choosing preferred activities and I'll let the goal fall by the wayside. 

Fear has a lot to do with the I don't wannas.  I don't want to do things and don't push myself to do them because I'm afraid of what may happen.  For example, I want to sell a few clothing items on ebay, but I'm hesitant to post them because I'm afraid that I may not do it right, that I'll leave something out or that it will be more complicated than I thought it would be and that I'll end up being confused.  So what happens? I look at the pile of clothes I want to list on ebay, never post them, and I never make any money off of them and the cycle continues.  The fear of not doing things correctly and the fear of failing are real in my life.  I don't know where it stems from and at this point it doesn't matter since I just need to confront and conquer the fears so that I can build the confidence necessary to complete the next challenge.  Joyce Meyer has a great mantra of "Do it Afraid."  Just because you're doing it doesn't mean that you're not afraid, it just means that you're going to follow God and do it anyway even though you are afraid.

With that said, I'm registering and training for the Marine Corps Marathon and I'm signing off so that I can list these clothes on ebay.  I'm doing it afraid so that I can conquer my fears.

Anybody interested in size 8 petite pants from LOFT and the Limited?  If so, you can find them on sale on ebay :)  What if we called them scardy pant in honor of me listing them while I was afraid!

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